May I call you Clark? Now Clark, recently you’ve gotten yourself all up in arms because the lovable Jewy Jon Stewart took a jab at you folks by putting a picture of a manger in front of a vagina. Despite what I can only guess is a massive fetish fan base within Catholicism you’ve remained obstinately against this piece of satire/softcore porn. Honestly Clark, let the good Mench go.
Now Clark, I don’t claim to be holier than thou but me and my fellow Protestants have been making you look the fool since the whole 95 theses debacle. And I don’t know that the fast track out of Purgatory involves boycotting late night TV. I’m not sure if you’re aware what Civil Rights constitutes beyond the official sounding ring it has to it. (Hi, I’m Nate, Comedy Writer and Civil Rights Awareness Dude. LOL look how smarter I just made myself!)
But stuff like free speech is typically covered under that. If Jon Stewart wants to make Baby Jesus manger porn than he is allowed to do so. As long as he films it of course—otherwise it’s just prostitution.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you, Clark, expended as much outrage and energy trying to rid your church of its rampant pedophilia problem as you do needlessly badgering a televised comedy show? From what I can tell, maybe you guys should be more vagina friendly. As a man who came out of one I can confirm that they are pretty darn cool!
Clark, I’m going to guess that most Catholics aren’t any more proud of your boy touching priests than they are the sale of indulgences or the Spanish Inquisition. Sometimes you do crazy things for the people you love. Even if the person you loved pretty clearly said to “love your enemy.” Then again I can’t read Catholic so it may say something completely different in your Bible. However our civil and religious liberties are not in danger because of a Comedy Central graphics team. Stop being a martyr. Stop needlessly crucifying yourselves. That job has already been filled.
P.S. What’s this I hear about you being upset with the foxy Kate Upton? Last I checked all of your nuns were wrinkly and mean, or at the very least super un-Kate Upton-y. Who knows, maybe this whole nun-kini thing could be a big selling point for hot girls who are interested in marrying Jesus. I mean come on, the guy died for your sins the least you could do is throw him some hot tail.
Filed Under: Featured
About the Author: Nate Rankin writes Comedy Reviews and Fiction because no one taught him any better. His fiction has been featured by Workers Writes, theNewerYork! and Used Gravitrons and is forthcoming in The Green Blotter. His work can be seen here: http://iamseamus.tumblr.com/writing You can find him on the Tweety Box @CommanderSeamus If you'd like to submit a review inquiry please send to nrankin22[at]gmail[dot]com